shems & journal

2019, what a year huh? For many of us, it’s been a lot of ups and downs. For me, specifically, its been one of my most challenging years; mentally and emotionally. This year I became separated from my beautiful friend and spouse, a decision we waffled on for a year prior. We tried and tried, it wasn’t time. I felt the feelings of defeat and abandonment, such feelings were self-induced.

It taught me love isn’t a trial. A lot of error, but not a trial. I also began therapy regularly, a high, something I was apprehensive in doing. After much discussion with tribe, I was ushered into taking a chance in sharing my deepest pains. Never knew that this would be what would free me so much! Its been frightening to uncover the things about myself that I didn’t want to see. Everything from where I was seeking validation, what distracts me, and how do I receive love. I didn’t want to see what my attachments were and how in fact I want romance but was unwilling to see love within. Seeing myself as a symbol of love, a very difficult task. This love is brewing within. Loving me. Thus creating loving frequencies and loving enviroments. This is what I want to continue to attract; people who can feel and see life the same.

I also learned what “no” was. Bookings picked up this year, I hosted some major events this year; from starting the first quarter with THEMADDARTTOUR x Spring Fling to the Masquerade Gala “A Night of the Arts”. My gifts were making more room for me than ever. I helped produced a dope networking session “First Sunday Vibes” and with all that aside I learned what I was worth. What I actually bring to the table. My own essence. I helped craft a dope visual to tell stories that we go through everyday (I AM STILL HUMAN). I assisted so many other creatives and brands behind the scenes to further what we have: Renaissance. I’m excited for what 2020 is here to manifest. I’m excited for the pains of freedom.

I’ve learned to train people on how to treat you. Its your fault if they don’t know. No one else knows the sacrifices you made. This is the reason why you have to do it for you.


Watch the directorial debut of yours truly, “I AM STILL HUMAN”, starring WordPlay Luck and Evelyn Leteshia. Co-Directed and Produced by ATOM BLK.

NEW PLAYLIST: shems-n-vibes Vol 2


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